wonderfuuuuuuul.

so amazing.

i love croissants.

while eating a croissant, i realized:

GOD IS AMAZING.

and that really has nothing to do with the croissant.

it just sort of added to the moment.

amazing community

amazing process of renewal and brokenness.

amazing friends and family

amazing dreams and visions

and just incredible life in general.

i love it all.

thanks Jesus !

thank you Jesus for your salvation and amazing wonderful redemptive grace.

thank you for songs and worship and praise

thank you that i was made for You

thank you that im bound to You for eternity

thank you for snow

and thank you for musical instruments

and thank you for soundwaves

and rustling of wind among leaves

thank you for beautiful tattoos

and creativity

thank you for sand between toes

and the never ending lapping of waves on the shores of the beach

thank you for ireland

thank you for china

thank you for france

thank you for new york

thank you for california

thank you for hawaii

thank you for florida

thank you for my mother

thank you for my father

thank you for art

and canvas

and shel silverstein

and e.e. cummings

and imagination

and that there are things in my heart that only you will ever see

thank you that you are my best friend

thank you for deposits of faith

thank you for restoring this garden

thank you for rain

thank you for smiles and laughs

thank you for innocence

thank you for children and how they teach us so much

thank you for protection

thank you for intercession and prayer

thank you for your power

thank you for words

thank you for hearts

thank you for abundance

thank you for lack

thank you for cake

and sugar

and autumn

and death cab for cuties album cover for transatlanticism

thank you for restoration

and oceans

and ice

and coconuts

and LIFE

and sugar

and cinnamon

and john baldwin gourleys voice

and devendra banhardts creativity

and thank you for revelation

and wisdom

and anointing

and half sisters

and love

and purity

thank you that you are you

thank you for faithfulness

and love

and reflections of you

and images of wonder

thank you for cool breezes

and thank you for humidity

thank you for finding beauty in all you create

thank you for friends

and laughter

and thank you for the moment when you realize friends have become more like family.

thank you for Your will

thank you for sacrifice

thank you for hard times

thank you for giddy times

thank you for encouragement

thank you for flowers

thank you for roses

thank you for satin

thank you for the color teal

i could go on and on.

e.e. cummings is wonderful.

i have found what you are like

the rain

(Who feathers frightened fields

with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields

and swirled justly souls of flower strike

easily the pale club of the wind
the air in utterable coolness deeds of gren thrilling light

yellows

lurch and.press

with thinned newfragile
--in the woods which stutter

And the coolness of your smile is

and sing
stirringofbirds between my arms;but i should rather than anything have(almost when hugeness will shut quietly)almost,

your kiss

inspired.

9

heart changes on the surgery table

my spirit soars and my body dissolves

i am weak.

i am so weak.

but my Jesus is strong.

holding onto promises but letting the dream they're attached to die

not looking to the left or right for my answers anymore

its a vertical conversation.

and revelation comes from Him.

revelations color surrounds me

my heart has seen why it had to come

and i continue to lay it down

even though i know it will all be resurrected

a blessing outside of its time is a curse

just as a right person outside of their time is the wrong person

so im waiting for that blessing that i know will come

but i say i choose the giver of the blessing over the blessing.

my heart sees clearly

my spirit is no longer confused.

my plans are not my own

as much as it hurt

but the most painful and difficult decision is usually filled with the most blessing

as long as Jesus said to do

my season of preparation continues.

but now i know what to prepare for

perhaps not fully

but glimpses

and visions

and dreams

that He sent

how could i have believed so many lies about it before ?

giving me peace

giving me patience

giving me the will to take this time and seek Him first

giving me the strength when i am weak

giving me the passion when i am empty

giving me the boldness to fight off the lies because i know the truth

giving me the love when i feel i have nothing to give

giving me the joy when i feel low

giving me the blessing in its time

He's given so much.

my little heart is so full of thanks.

my anthem.

Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands.

For it's only in Your will that I am free,
For it's only in Your will that I am free,
Jesus, all for Jesus,
All I am and have and ever hope to be.

baah.

here.

changing seasons !

heart changes found atop a diseased tree

finding new meaning

finding understanding

forced blog entries never make much progress.